Life’s Perfect

What is perfect? What makes it count as perfect? Just how much power does perfection have over us? The oxford dictionary says it is having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.

However, I think perfect is controversial. The meaning of perfect is different from one person to another. Perfect changes from day to day, hour to hour or year to year. Perfect to me is how diverse the meaning of perfect is. When I was a little girl, perfect to me was having my food tin filled when I went to school. When I was a teenager, perfect to me was getting the attention of the hot guys in the hood. Thirty minutes ago, perfect to me was getting into a matatu and avoiding the raging rainfall. Right now perfect to me is how comfortable my duvet feels and how hot and sugary my coffee tastes. Nonetheless, most of the time, Perfect is anything that comes embedded with peace.

I asked my friends what perfect was to them and they said;

1. Perfect is when they are okay
2. Perfect is when humans have faith, diligence and integrity
3. Perfect is in Women; pretty and thick
4. Perfect is in Men; loyal and compromising
5. Perfect is in animals; silent and not touchy
6. Perfect to me is teaching sign language to the deaf community
7.  Love is perfect.
8. Perfect to me is when everyone I love is safe, happy, and peaceful and feeling my love
9. Perfect to me means, after doing something or seeing something you’re soul gets satisfied, you feel okay, any other opinion on it doesn’t matter as long you, yourself is okay with it, that’s perfect to me.
10. Perfection is in Art, in words and expression that never misses the eyes and ears. A good story, good visuals, human emotions evoked.
11. Perfect is God. God is Love. Love is what warms the heart and fills the soul. Nothing can take its place in our lives.
12. Perfect is the kind of love that is patient and kind. Not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. That never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
 13. Perfect is the positive energy flow of love.

One thing they made me realize is that every cloud has a silver lining. Sometimes life becomes very hard. Imagine, you are in town , wearing sandals ,with no sweater ,no umbrella and a sleeveless dress. It is getting dark, there are no vehicles to go home and it is about curfew time; the full knowledge of how ruthless it gets in the stress past curfew lurking in your head  .And then ,you bump into an old friend. Someone you haven’t talked to for years and they offer to give you a ride home .Won’t that feel awesome? . It will ease your brain from thinking that you might develop pneumonia or an asthmatic attack or how being chased by cops would have felt .

That is the same thing that happens with feeling suicidal. When everything else feels like a wrecking ball, and every road leads to oblivion, it is imperative that you find your perfect. Perfect doesn’t mean it should be 100% or pure. Does it make u happy? If yes, then it’s perfect. It is the one thing you hold on to. They say reasons to live gives reasons to die. That one perfect thing for you is your reason to live .Do not let it go.

Ultimately, to be perfect is to be truly you. Embracing the darkness and living it then leaving it .Amanda Gorman said “there is always light, if only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.” How do we achieve that other than fighting every day for our survival; for our perfect .One day at a time until we find the strength to live your life all over again. To be fully present at the moment and not look for an escape plan for the boring.

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, many of us have. You are not alone. Talk to us.